the exercise you did is good and helps you understand you get to have boundaries. you having boundaries, and a sense of individuation, can help you feel empowered to do the things you desire to do in your life like the traveling and even selling your artwork if that is a desire of yours. i think for those of us who had enmeshed parents it can be hard to have a sense of our own power and feel like we can accomplish our goals. we unfortunately can end up feeling quite helpless when we were not allowed boundaries as children. this article on individuation is excellent and i think both boundaries and individuation are good things to become fluent in. it's all about balance: we are separate, individuated people but still have relationship as long as both parties respect each others' boundaries.
Thank you very much, blur. Did you have enmeshed parents too? I've never had a sense of having any power. My T has tried to build up my sense of Self via my artwork and photography. I'll look at the links.
the other half of this is understanding why it is good for others to have boundaries. respecting other's boundaries is for the other person's comfort and safety and so they can live their lives without bothersome interference from us. you still can have relationships with people while they have their boundaries, just as you have your boundaries. respecting your T's boundaries will not feel good right now and it won't make these feelings go away. in fact the opposite will happen until the issue is worked through. that is why it is difficult to not do the behaviors you are struggling with--because it brings up uncomfortable and painful feelings that need to be felt and expressed in healthy ways. this isn't about your T but your primary family relationships and grieving the losses of your past. you can do this rain. there is no time like the present. happy thanksgiving!