Lamplighter...
I am the queen of jumping to worst conclusion. I always assume I'm about to be disappointed. It just seems easier to expect the worse. I don't know if I'll really remember this lesson in RL or not, but I do hope I'm getting closer to not expecting the worst from my T. For the most part, she's been very dependable and she doesn't deserve my constant mistrust. Also, the paranoia and pain associated with constantly believing people's affections aren't genuine. My weekend was horrible and it's my own fault but in those moments I was so overwhelmed with panic and fear. Then, I go to therapy Monday and leave feeling 100% better. Damn emotional regulation. I'll never have it under control, let alone mastered and perception is reality.

Thank you for all your encouragement and support. It really appreciated more then I can convey...

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