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Biiv, i don't think you have an evil inside of you or it would have taken over by now. you are fighting it and need to continue the fight. i don't think people see the things in you that you fear. what your father did does not have to become a part of you.
You are hurting so much, i feel so bad for you. i will be sending kind thoughts your way.
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“Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength” Lao Tzu
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