Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara
Growing up, I was never told "I love you" or shown any real signs of affection. In high school, when friends wanted to give hugs or said any version of "I love you" I would feel uncomfortable and never said it back. I've gotten over the hug stuff, but I still find it very hard to vocally show like or love and the only time it tends to come out is when I'm being abandoned.
It doesn't mean I don't feel the intense love. I just can't vocalize it well at all. I always feel bad when someone says they love me, in any form, and I sit there like a deer caught in headlights not knowing what to say back.
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See, I've always been told "I love you" but then had those people leave, so I am used to that type of affection, but now I end up putting way more meaning into it than it should... If I say "I love you" and they only say "love you" I take that as they're about to leave me.... And I like super long hugs, because that body contact means they can't be gone, but then once they get awkward and peel me off, I feel like ***** for pushing it, and feel like them pulling away doesn't just mean from the hug... I don't know that it's any easier either way, but it sucks a lot for both...