I find this a really interesting topic, so I'll probably have to go and read through some of the posts more carefully when I have a bit more time. I find it really hard to put boundary stuff into words.

I found my own therapist to be relatively relaxed in terms of boundaries when we first met. At least, I was very careful not to go near any potential boundary and so my therapist never brought the subject up...and that's what worked best for me. I didn't like to think of the relationship in terms of boundaries and restrictions. I respected her space and time and that was enough for me.

Earlier on in therapy, there were some things I did with my therapist that involved what could be considered more relaxed boundaries. Over a period of years we have had two or three sessions in a coffee shop, once I attended a social event that she was at (at her suggestion), and once she attended something because I was there. For me, right now she definitely is my therapist and not a friend. I feel quite clear about respecting any potential boundaries of hers without explicit rules and restrictions.

My therapist has now tightened up her boundaries a lot and suddenly it's like it really doesn't work for me. It would be okay if we discussed the situation and I could understand what was okay to ask for and what wasn't, but the rules and explicit boundaries just don't sit quite right with me.