|
Nov 29, 2013, 08:07 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: Moon
Posts: 179
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToeJam
To go to the Dr would be seriously uncomfortable… I’m reclusing hard at the moment and (the strong) part of me doesn’t want the attention lable attached.
I guess in some ways I am giving up and letting the flood come in. I am fighting it, otherwise I wouldn’t be typing here (obviously).
Not hard to imagine, I am angry. That is the state my depression has taken me of late. Furious with myself for feeling this way, furious with my neediness, furious with how I must appear to others, furious that I don’t seem to have anywhere to go.
|
Holding this all inside is literally "killing" you. Asking for help from a doc or pdoc is not attention seeking. Toss out pride and own up that you can handle this yourself, cave in and seek out help from someone on the outside. Meds for depression is not always the answer (nor is ECT, believe me I've had too many), but therapy has assisted.
You stated before that you are still working, well pat yourself on the back for that. Dragging oneself in to work and putting a smile on one's face while living with depression is a true feat. I just couldn't smile anymore and had to give up my career.
The hopelessness that I feel presently; sitting at the bottom of my black hole looking up at the light and wondering if I will ever get there again. I've done it before, but I'm too tired right now to climb the ladder and I will hold on for a while and sit in the mud.
I don’t mean to rant.
You are not ranting. Ranting is a negative. My toxic mother rants.
|