Each of us grieve on a different time schedule, each triggered by different things. You have to take it at your own pace and not compare yourself to others that are also grieving. You just handle your grief differently, its not because you don't care it's just where you are. I think your physical suffering has a lot to do with you emotions right now and the chemo could be dulling your feelings somewhat. Pain will do that. Don't worry you still care and it's not measured in the number of tears you cry. It's in your heart.