Hi, here's my situation. Back in Nov 2012, I had a rupture with my T. I was brutally honest with her and told her I feel tension between us. That she dislikes me. Her reply was why do you want to work with someone who you feel dislikes you. The session was just about over. She said for the next session to decide what I want to do. She said she would give me referrals to another therapists if that's what I want.

I really like her as a T. She is knowledgeable, helped me a lot and before we had this rupture was caring. I also have transference feelings for her.

I did not want to go to another T. I wanted to continue working with her but I needed to resolve the tension between us. I was in panic mode. Every time my T goes on vacation, she uses the same on call T. This on call T is also her sister-in-law who is a PSYD.

I decided to call her sisterinlaw to help me as she knows my T very well both as a T and on a personal level. I called her office but it was after hours so I didn't leave a message. I decided to text her. I wrote out the text asking to see her. But for some reason, I couldn't hit the send button.

I then decided to write my T an email. Apologize to her and tell her I know I messed up things between us. My T does not like to respond to emails but this one she did. She said that nothing was messed up between us but I need to understand that things I say have an impact on others.

This happened in Nov 2012. Things are great now between us. I really like her as my T. We are discussing a lot of issues. A few weeks ago, I finally got the nerve to ask her for a hug which she allowed me. I am happy with my T.

Here's my issue, I still think about what I almost did. I don't know why but it bothers me what I almost did to her. I see now how stupid it was. Although it was really only a thought as I never hit the send button, I feel the need to tell my T. If I was my T, I would be upset if I actually did send the text. Should I tell my T what I almost did - or is it opening up a can of worms and just forget it as nothing was done. If she was a friend and not my T, I would never tell her these thought. I know not to keep secrets from my T, so that's why I'm leaning to tell her. Thanks for your advice!