Quote:
Originally Posted by caseygirl
Holding this all inside is literally "killing" you. Asking for help from a doc or pdoc is not attention seeking. Toss out pride and own up that you can handle this yourself, cave in and seek out help from someone on the outside. Meds for depression is not always the answer (nor is ECT, believe me I've had too many), but therapy has assisted.
You stated before that you are still working, well pat yourself on the back for that. Dragging oneself in to work and putting a smile on one's face while living with depression is a true feat. I just couldn't smile anymore and had to give up my career.
The hopelessness that I feel presently; sitting at the bottom of my black hole looking up at the light and wondering if I will ever get there again. I've done it before, but I'm too tired right now to climb the ladder and I will hold on for a while and sit in the mud.
I don’t mean to rant.
You are not ranting. Ranting is a negative. My toxic mother rants.
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BANG
A hard hitting post and I had to consider how to respond.
Well in part, I have reached out for help... and I am seeing a T on the 5th of December. Part of the issues I've faced have been the inconsistency of the NHS which we have in the UK.
I was first put on the books of a T about 2-3 months ago and even then I was climbing the walls... things were getting worse and worse and I ended up being told by my GP to see him weekly. The wife had been taking time off of work to come to the Drs with me as she knows me well enough that I'm the kind of guy that would Sheldon smile
and not actually tell the Dr anything. My medication was changed and my GP has essentially been trying to fill in the gap while I wait.
Well about 2 weeks ago I went for my first appointment with my new alleged T. I turned up 15 mins early to compose myself... and waited. The time for going in came and went... and I almost walked out... the Wife had come along for moral support and nudged me in the ribs when I started muttering about it being pointless. 20 mins after the appointment should have come the receptionist came over and apologised saying they just got a call from the T's group managers advising she'd called in sick.
Well, it all fell apart from there and I was booked in to see the GP immediately (the t sessions are held at my doctors) as well as being booked in for a different T 3 weeks later.
So it's not that I haven't accepted that I need help... I've just been waiting 3 months while climbing the wall. In this down time I've had virtually no one to talk to... so I apologise if I wasn't completely clear in the above post.
As for being at work... it's weird with the way that I interact. I find that when I'm being social... or even cracking a joke (which I can do now and again).... I start to get a weird headache at the base of my skull/brain that increases and increases till I just have to go quiet.
The reduced hours I'm on for 2 weeks have been a blessing, as come to this point in the day and though I seem quite capable of typing... everything else is zombified.
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK