Have spoke with a MIND advisor (mental health charity)......they say don't make any decisions or jump to conclusions......its possible that he went into crisis at breakdown of relationship and nothing to do with cheating......could be he wasn't and felt I was not listening and he had nowhere to go and went into crisis.

They say is he is in shutdown emotionally like his father says he is.....then it it not uncommon to not want to see people until you are stable especially if it will be emotional. He perhaps just cannot cope at the moment.

They say give him time and space and use connection with dad and partner to let him know I still love and care for him and am there when he is ready.

They have given me a local number for support .........I will try them monday morning when they are open.

I will just have to wait now and give him time and space.....he is somewhere safe and I have to stop jumping to conclusions based on out of date information or at best incomplete.

When he is ready then we just need to talk.

Thanks for support everyone x