Leah...

I'm not making excuses for your T nor was I there or know exactly what was happening...
but maybe if you could think of it this was it wouldn't feel so hurtful...

I am tired of your behavior...

I know as a parent there are many times that I am tired of my children's behavior... I have even said to them that I am sick and tired of them acting a certain way... But that does not mean I do not love my children.

I don't know if that helps with your having to sit with these feelings. Do you have another appointment scheduled? Personally, I would want to keep my appointment because otherwise you are just prolonging this agony of not knowing...

(btw I would have shut completely down and I think when the clock hit the end of session I would have numbly got up and left...never to return again... but I am super sensitive...)