Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckNut1
I've been married three times.
I'm 45 years old. My last divorce was two months ago, and I'm engaged again.
I can't stop thinking that maybe this is a mistake. I want to stop thinking about my x wife and move on, but another part of me thinks that I will just repeat the same mistakes with this new one as I did the last. But I keep moving forward, pushing the feelings away and forging ahead.
To me they are replaceable. I know that sounds horrible.
But if I don't stop, I may continue to do this for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I can stop this crazy train I'm on.
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I only have a couple of things to say related to your post. One, you should probably not get into this marriage thing again, for a couple reasons. First, you're obviously on the rebound. Second, if you're questioning whether it's a good idea, it probably isn't. In fact the instant you're not sure you should be doing something potentially as life changing as another marriage, you should stop and at the very least, postpone it. There's something to be said for long engagements in this case.
The other thing is, "To me they are replaceable". Is that horrible? I can't judge you on that but, I will say until the one that isn't so replaceable is in front of you, you should not be marrying her. That to me, says you don't understand the implications of marriage at all. Harsh? yes but am I really wrong? If one marries someone with the vows "til death" and "in sickness and health" but in their mind sees the bride as "replaceable" it's a contradiction in terms, if you ask me.
Wait. Enjoy your time with her, postpone the wedding, and court her for awhile. Once you're close enough that you KNOW without a doubt you'd stay with her for good and strive to keep it that way, that's when you should decide to marry her.