Autumn, thanks for your thoughtful response. I agree with you more than I disagree. What I thought though was how therapist do change from client to client to match them. This is not a sign of lack of sense of self, but quite the opposite. So it can be flexibility though it can also be what you say as well. And with clients often is.

Rosondo, what you say is an important point. We have a very individualistic culture. Other cultures, whether in the past or just different, are more collectivist, or don't stress self-sufficiency in the way that we do. They accept interdependence as the reality of human existence. As a Buddhist and also as someone who does an "intersubjective" type of therapy, I am more inclined toward that alternative.