Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckNut1
Thank you for your responses.
I can turn my "love" off like a light switch. I don't know why, but once a woman does something, anything to make me angry I no longer love her. My ex wife used to say that I had no empathy for her. And perhaps I did not, for I felt she also had no empathy for me. When I heard her crying about how I had hurt her, it did not touch me once the "light switch" had been turned off. I hope this makes sense... to someone.
I went from being absolutely in love with her to hating her.
My fiancee does not make me angry at all.. I have not felt the niggling doubts that I had about my ex wife. My ex wife would stand up to me, would tell me I was wrong, would make me so very angry.
I keep thinking that the fact I can't forget my ex wife is because she made me so angry. Now I'm wondering if it isn't something else, and I'm using my fiancee to replace her.
I'm very confused, I did not expect to be at this place in my life at this age.
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I completely understand you and reading your initial post and the responses has freshened my own awareness. With feelings so strong either of love or hate, it is all to easy to forget these important factors. I have learned that my 'switch' has little to do with other people, instead it has everything to do with me . . . how I feel about myself ~ first and foremost I must do my own 'homework,' and 'repair' before I can feel adequate with anyone else. I am still muddling through my own confusion which seems redundant at my age, but one day the reward will be something I have never been able to genuinely experience or give and that is an authentic love, so much more than the feeling I felt it was and sought. That love I have not yet known of myself, my partner and people in general.