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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
I can understand your concern here and it may be something but it may be nothing. Quite possibly he's just bad at replying to messages in general.
What should you do? Well if you feel that contacting him everyday, in your mind would be pestering, don't do it. If it's something you would do with any other person you like, friend or more.. go ahead, I see no problem in it. go with what you feel is right, becuase if you're doing something unnatural to your own behavior already then you're not showing your true colors. Fact is, if it bothers him, once you were a couple, it would probably bother him then too, when you're comfortable doing it and you'll never be able to "be yourself" I hope I'm making sense. For me personally being contacted every day - not obsessively repeated attempts over the course of a day, but once a day to start conversations, it would tell me she's interested but that's not the only way she can do so either... so be yourself.
Also, if you have nothing to say to spark a conversation, should you be even contacting him anyway? I mean, if you're compelled to talk to him for some reason, just refer to why you're contacting him, maybe sometimes you're seeing how he's doing, maybe another time you're just wondering what, if anything, he is doing. Just go with that. Sometimes just saying hi is perfectly alright too! I personally would not think it odd if a girl asked me how I was once a day, it's pretty normal to start a conversation. But that's just me. Its flattering to hear from a girl I like every day. After all if I'm attracted to her, I probably could spend hours of every day just chatting with her anyway. 
Hope this helps!
~S4 |
I do feel like contacting him everyday would be pestering, even though sometimes I want to contact him everyday while other times I don't. I just don't like having the pressure of feeling like I need to be the one always contacting him. This is the same with my friendships as well…if you look at my phone, the vast majority of texts and calls that I didn't initiate are my neighbor asking for money or someone asking me to do a job for them.
So, the whole calling/texting just to say "hi, how are you?" is just…well, not normal to me. I was taught by my parents that you contact people about practical things…or at least with a specific, important topic in mind. Otherwise, you're annoying the other person. Which may be true for some people and not for others, but who knows which kind of person the other is?
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I personally would not think it odd if a girl asked me how I was once a day, it's pretty normal to start a conversation. But that's just me. Its flattering to hear from a girl I like every day. After all if I'm attracted to her, I probably could spend hours of every day just chatting with her anyway.
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And this is what worries me…I always do everything wrong and make someone who likes me dislike me very quickly. And maybe this is part of it…or maybe because I accidentally revealed too many of my negative traits too quickly…I have this problem of being too honest when trying to start a relationship because I thought that was correct behavior but I'm starting to believe that the correct behavior is to lie by omission (not outright lie or misrepresent myself of course, just omit everything that that person might find objectionable and everything even remotely negative…which is basically saying don't be myself because in my real personality I'm cynical and a bit nihilistic, so kinda negative). I've tried changing my personality…becoming "nicer", less aggressive, more effeminate etc. so I would also be attractive to guys (girls like me, but I'm only interested in guys at the moment for whatever reason).
Also, he and I in person can talk for hours…but when it comes to technology not so much. I don't see him person on a regular basis because he lives in another town. The town isn't too far away, but neither of us usually have a reason to go to each other's respective cities/towns.
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Originally Posted by Heather11
He sounds aloof. If a man is interested, he Will contact you and make an effort. You've let him know you are interested, so I would back off completely from initiating contact. Personally, I like when the guy takes the lead. Then you know he Is interested and you don't put yourself though all the questions and doubts. Good luck. I've been there so I know how it feels when you like someone and you feel like you're not getting the answers but sometimes they're giving you an answer by Not saying a word.
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Although that makes sense, by that logic, only a couple guys liked me in my entire life and it wasn't even that strong of a like…unless it's solely because of my personality, I don't really understand that. People tell me I'm physically attractive…makes me not believe them. I don't know why people would offer unsolicited opinions and make them a lie. If you didn't like the way I looked, you just wouldn't say anything…not randomly come up to me and compliment me, right?
I would only prefer guys take the lead because they either get mad about it or freak out if I do…which is literally every SINGLE time. This is why I gave up years ago…everybody thought this current guy liked me and I should try again. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. Men that might be attracted to me (and me them) are also terrified of me despite my best efforts to NOT come across as aggressive and mean. I'm really a nice person deep down, I just get angry at BS or people bullying someone (especially if it's the guy I like) and I WILL get in people's faces if I really need to. I try just to walk away now…but you can't completely change someone's personality. I realize that when I'm defending myself and/or others that I come across as a psycho b**** so I don't try to do it anymore.
I also know a girl can't tell a guy she likes him because apparently that's a huge insult to their manhood or something? I don't know…I just know they either refuse to talk to me for a long time (if ever again) or get really mad.
I really don't understand guys…I offer myself on a silver platter every single time, but apparently the thought of me as a girlfriend to a guy is traumatizing. Even straight girls usually don't mind if I'm attracted to them, but if I like a guy, it's like the most horrible thing that's ever happened to them.
Blah. I could go on forever, but for the sake of everyone else's sanity, I'm going to stop there.