PrettyJolie, check this site out http://www.teendepression.org/ and see if it can give you a little hope back. Hope is A#1 important to me as I don't think one can move forward without it, no matter what attributes and "good" feelings one has. Go chat with your doctor and get some information about what he thinks?

Meds don't make you feel happy, only you can determine and go after what makes you happy; meds just might help even the playing field so "you" have more say which direction to choose. You have a rougher job than a lot of people, in my opinion, as you're a teenager living at home so have to figure out more new things and yet often have fewer resources of your own. But lots of us make it through that stage :-) so there is hope for you too! When I was a teenager before computers/internet, I use to collect quotations and read self-help and encouraging stuff to balance out the bad stuff and depression? "Balance" is a neat concept to me to work with (see me playing with it in my signature :-) Read here and other people's problems but then read other stuff too that might be helpful getting your spirits up is what I'd do.