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Old Nov 29, 2013, 06:52 PM
Angel of Bedlam's Avatar
Angel of Bedlam Angel of Bedlam is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Lincoln, NE
Posts: 962
Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckNut1 View Post
I've been married three times.

I'm 45 years old. My last divorce was two months ago, and I'm engaged again.

I can't stop thinking that maybe this is a mistake. I want to stop thinking about my x wife and move on, but another part of me thinks that I will just repeat the same mistakes with this new one as I did the last. But I keep moving forward, pushing the feelings away and forging ahead.

To me they are replaceable. I know that sounds horrible.

But if I don't stop, I may continue to do this for the rest of my life.

I don't know if I can stop this crazy train I'm on.
Although you're with someone, the idea of thinking people are "replaceable" sounds like such a lonely existence. I'm sorry that's what you're going through. For me, relationships have come and gone largely because I either bolt at the first sign of the other person losing interest, or because I wind up painting them black and idealizing someone else. Is this how it is for you?

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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?


Diagnosed:
BPD

PTSD
Thanks for this!
BuckNut1