How long was it, since your last relationship, and how long were you involved with him?
You were raised, in an environment that taught submission by women to men. That's a tough one, to work through, even, if you knew it was wrong for you, on an intellectual level.
You mentioned, feeling like you'd be in the twilight zone, if you ever were in a relationship, like the one you've just described as needing and wanting; yes! Precisely, it would be out of your comfort zone, as it's not what you've been accustomed to.
I'd say, keep exploring all of this, in therapy. My T, once suggested discovering my 'needs.' I feel, I really need to go find the place that I found this list, and link it to my profile(if that's even allowed), it was a tough but useful find. And it helped me, see what my needs really are, so that I can articulate them, not just romantically, but in all areas of my life.
My impression, it may, still, be too soon. Hence, the frustration.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowlyISigh
I am a firm believer in equality, that both parties should respect each other, that it shouldn't be about who dominates who, just about being supportive and helping each other, using the raw facts as to who's capable of making and contributing to decisions instead of just a person's gender. I want someone who will share my ideas but also help me to grow, someone who will be kind and supportive and not push me to change.
And lately, I am NOT for dealing with people's issues, I've had enough of that my entire life. So if some guy wants to try and be a know it all with me, yet act like he can't even work on himself or that it's somehow IMPOSSIBLE, no thank you.
Lately, the only type of guy I seem to attract is the kind that'll fall for anyone and cling to them as if they were glued by the hip from the day they met,
I just call it immature, but they don't make me feel special AT ALL because I'm just someone to sate their attention since they're lonely. In short, I can't stand them.
I'm constantly overwhelmed by the thought that I'm not good enough for the kind of guy I want: at least decently attractive, kind, funny, etc. and will have to settle for someone who won't even make me happy just to have someone.
. I don't want to and WON'T be taken advantage of, treated as less, like my opinion doesn't matter, etc. just because of my anatomical makeup. I will be treated as an equal, or else I'll gladly go to my grave single. But...if there is someone out there who's willing to be that for me, even with their own baggage, I want to be receptive to that.
As stated before, I am going to therapy for all of my issues, but so far it's not doing much help. Nothing is. Not the statements of "You'll find him one day, this is this way, that isn't as bad as it seems, no one really says that anymore," etc. etc. It's like I'm incureable. Any perspectives or personal experiences would perhaps be helpful, and again, please realize that I'm not talking about all men, only the ones that actually fit the molds I described. And please, don't give me any advice that has to do with a "woman's place". I'm a Christian, but I've been put down enough just to be stuck in some mold forever, so I don't buy into that. I'm sorry, I just don't and I won't. And if me simply wanting to be seen as equal, to not let someone lord over me as if they're any better than me solely because of their anatomical makeup, well, I guess I'll be taking that walk into twilight alone, after all. And, it's probably a little late to say this after my bleak message, but Happy Thanksgiving.
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