(((((((((( onlymedid )))))))))))
Do you have a therapist?
If you do have a therapist it would be a good idea to show your post to him/her.
In my opinion this sort of thing can't be rushed.
Writing things down, or writing a diary is a good idea too.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein