Quote:
Originally Posted by tohelpafriend
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I experienced a great burst of freedom today and just stayed where I felt safe....at home. A good refreshing walk in the morning, followed by doing some shopping for "all fresh stuff", and finding exactly what I wanted in coffee...Starbuck's blonde mellow & soft brew! I realized a step toward healing was to actually control my self-care and boundaries to the extent of refusing to be drawn into the family mind games. Next year, God willing, I will venture out somewhere, but not to my family, to my OWN family. The ghosts of the past just have to fall away when we see the truth and become ourselves, not afraid to journey on. I really had a peace-filled day.....and I had to go against the tide to find it. Peace, "help..." And, of course, I am thankful for the beautiful weather today and health to enjoy it.
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I think this^ is really important. It's so easy to allow a sense of futility and helplessness to rob us of our ability to make different choices. It took several years, but I found that re-inventing the holidays, making new traditions that fulfill my needs, was a way to reclaim ownership of the experience and banish past memories to their rightful place--in the past. The past could only be endured, but the present and the future are mine to create for me.