I feel embarrassed about posting that now…it's not that I want to kill myself necessarily, I just want to accidentally die.

And I believe that I'm a burden for several reasons:
1. I'm a burden financially…I haven't figured out how to use my education or experience to get a job that earns decent money and I'm barely making any right now so my parents are paying for everything. And I'm supposed to be saving for retirement? How?! I can't even find a real job in my industry, so I have to go with what I enjoy second best…which is ok but I'm afraid the hours or the pay won't be enough or I won't have enough experience because that's not what I've spent my life doing. And this is after being told my whole life that I'm so "talented" and whatnot by quite a few people.

2. I'm a burden when it comes to dietary restrictions. I can't dairy because I'm allergic. I'm also vegetarian (partly because of allergies, partly by choice). So imagine how much a pain in the @** it is to make sure there's food for me to eat when ever I go to a get together or come home.

3. I'm a burden emotionally as I'll always need more support than I can give. I try not to get too close to people so I don't drain them.

4. I'm a burden because I'm only book smart and stupid with everything else, I'm too naive for my age, and I'm too childish (not to say necessarily immature; I just do childish things like um…sleep with a stuffed animal and treat them as if they're alive to a certain extent…I've reverted further into a child state after graduating from grad school).