im failing some of my classes this semester right now.. I duno what to do if i do indeed fail. My parents lecture me daily about doing my homework but i just cant do it. They use their 'marital issues' and tell me about that, as an excuse, i suppose to guilt me into doing better in school.. this is really stressing me out... I cant do my schoolwork or projects, because it hurts to think, or move.

.. my parents say theyre scared to death that I wont make it as an individual in the adult world, because of my aspergers, anxiety and possible, depression... I recently read an article that people on the autism spectrum commonly have depression and anxiety, so i suppose it was inevitable.

So after taking Lexapro, I feel even worse. I cant concentrate, and all of my physical problems associated with all of this is even worse. I didnt think that was possible.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to hold a job, or motivation to do anything, because I feel that I can't do anything.. I feel like im being tortured going to school.. by my parents pushing me about it, waking up at 5:45 in the morning, dealing with ridiculous busywork, working in groups, presentations, and the pointlessness of most of the things I learn in high school. I wish I could express in words, the stress I deal with, because my dad thinks that Ive never had real stress. Obviously a 59 year old man knows about stress in the modern day public high school.

I must also say that many things in life, such as pompous awards shows, self important people, western religion and education taht does not apply to me, will forever remind me, that life is indeed, meaningless. and that it is constant suffering, with mindless pleasure in between.

Also, that people who commit suicide are right. It is indeed, a temporary solution to a permanate problem.. but im going to try to live life, and deal with this.. i wont quit yet.. but if my parents or people i am attached to go, and i dont have my feet on the ground by then, i dont know what other solution there would be.

ok, my rant is over.. sorry for wasting your time.