I attract damaged women that arent normal and it's been like mixing fire and ice. Theres an interesting thread on another board about people with BPD and NPD being drawn to each other like magnets. It's important for us to understand who we are so that if we do encounter other people with these big issues we know and can react accordingly. If I didnt have BPD/depression/anxiety, I could have had long happy relationships that I've always desired. Only know am I starting to understand that much of the problem rests w me. I still feel a strong impulsiveness. If two people are really in love though and just like each other I think it could work very well. What it looks like is that we become clingy and obsessive over people that arent into us the same way or possibly could be into us that same way if we could give it more time.

Sometimes you just get bad situations no matter who you are. My ex friend/girlfriend is a prime example. unless/until she leaves her babies father we have no real long term future together. Her emotions swing like a pendulum concerning me/us. Complicated by her physical ailments that can only be managed but, never fixed. If someone had told me in advance all about her years back Id never have ever considered dating her. as it is now my emotions are a twisted mess. She's just an example of something that seemed so good that went so bad and BPD or not, it was beyond my control. It's just something that will happen to the best of us.

Since we are how we are, clear honest communication is super important. We need to know how the other person feels about us right away, what they want, casual dating,friendship, just sex etc. This way we can limit the confusion and the roller coaster of emotions that go with it. I dont want to be blamed again for not understanding because the relationship/friendship was never clearly defined.