This is ridiculous for me, but I have done so much damage to my ankles since I was a teenager that I actually try to walk with people as my fear of one of my ankles turning and no one being there to help terrifies me. Last year, I had my ankle turn and fell so hard, I broke my elbow and damaged my thumbs. I just found out through x-rays that at some time in the past, one of my ankles was broken and I was never aware of it.

But there are about three instances of it happening that, when walking with people and if I'm not preoccupied, I will start thinking so hard on one of these 'incidents' that I'm not aware of much else and it's only when I 'fall' and hear the ankle snap in my head, that I wince or moan and seem able to snap out of it.

I feel stupid that my trauma is nothing really, yet it controls my life to an extent. I've only told my outside T and a friend about it. It just feels too darn embarrassing for my e to be so traumatized over my ankles.