Ending up spending the day in bed. So much for "have to"'s.

I don't feel like doing anything but I feel like complaining about my problems to someone. I don't know why. I hate complaining about my problems. Part of me feels like hurting myself. But why? I really don't know.

I made myself start up some laundry. I don't feel like doing dishes or preparing food. Even easy stuff. Even ordering. I'm in the mood to feel worse about myself by making this a useless day that gives me more reason to hate myself which would make me less likely to do anything so....

After this post, I'm going to wind down whatever online chats I have open and not start any new ones. Basically isolate myself for the night. Because it seems all I want is a pity party, and I hate that. And I've been feeling like that for the past week almost.

Rereading this it sounds almost incoherent. I'll stop blabbering now.