So I got these really really annoying and unpleasant fears in 2011 of basically appointments.

I´ve gotten a lot better since then, but I´m not "cured" and "normal" like I was before.

It started during a really really stressfull time for me when I felt like I had to do so many things, and had to do and achieve and take care of so much, but I COULDN´t or maybe, couldn´t do it, I felt that I was being suffocated by all of these things and expectations around me.

I started to get real bad insomnia, lying awake for hours, sometimes 8 or 9 hours.
I felt like I was going totally CRAZY. And that that could not be normal.

Besides I HAD to sleep, because there was all these things to take care of the next day, and if I couldn´t sleep this night, the day after would be also so much stuff to take care off and what if I couldnt´sleep the next night?
I would fall apart or go totally crazy? and it would be unbearable
and I wouldn´t be able to function and what if I could never sleep again???

This is basically what went on in my head.

Since then it has become very difficult to have appointments in the morning, because I fear I cannot sleep when I have stuff in the morning.

Also, this stress and sleeplessness returns, when I just have to many things on my mind and don´t relax.

Usually, when I come home from vacation, I feel a lot more relaxed about appointments and I don´t even understand how I could so anxious about them before.

I used to be busy like 10 hours a day. Now, I manage 1 appointment a day, really not more. And not every day for a longer time.

It´s like I have become so much less stress resistant than before.

So, my T has thought that this is some sort of social anxiety, that I don´t fear the actual appointment but the social interaction.
And/or a sort of regression to a younger age, a baby or toddler, that would be scared to go on to the street alone and isn´t expected to take responsibility.

I don´t feel that that is quite right. I really stress out about HAVING to be or do something at a certain time, wether I´m alone or with anyone.

Though, when other people are involved, and might be waiting or something, I get stressed more easily.

Only recently my T has spoken about "burn out" when I told her more about my life story the past 4 years and I feel like that´s a lot more fitting than social anxiety.

When I feel like I have enough room to breath between things, I usually do not get nervous. When things get to tight, I tend to obsess about things and I cannot handle things.

What do you think it is? And has anyone else experienced this sort of fear?

Thank you!