thanks, i guess its just difficult sometimes because they dont see the things i do 'do' to try , even if it doesnt work alot of the times i still do it for the heck of it but get little credit i guess because i am supposed to be different.
ive tried telling them its not just a switch anyone can turn on or off and its something thats not so easy to be in control of but they jst dont understand :/
i try to remind myself im not in it alone though

i am in it to win it you can count on that, and take it to the bank. I may be dragging along wounded missing a few limbs and bleeding out but im not giving up ever - its too good of a story to end it without knowing the ending (metaphor)

therapist appt on the 4th dec, dont really know what to expect never been to one

i just try to be patient with my family until i either figure out a way to explain it or they understand, i've tried asking them to just read about the disorders but they dont wanna read about it like its contagious

anyway, i think im gonna go try to hang out and have a few beers
thanks for the replies, its odd talking about these things