Someone bought up something similar to this in the Psychotherapy sub-section and it is something that has always bothered me about the way people see mental health issues. There seems to be a trend that in order to overcome our disorders, and the diagnosis attributed to it, we must fight it and eliminate it from our identity, separate us from it. That seems very foreign to me. I have had this feeling of depression for my entire life, as far as I can remember, and didn't realize this apathy, lack of focus, and general anxiety is not something that everyone feels. So when I was seeking a way to change I assumed that I would be able to learn how to cope with emotions that I have no tools to deal with and manage. However there are aspects of my identity, some might call it my depression, that I put a lot of value to my life. My constant analysis, my sometimes productive obsessive tendencies, my sick sense of humor; these are things that are, to an extent, symptoms of depression, but they are also things about my personality that I enjoy and would love to hold on to in more productive ways than I do now. So far the mental health professionals in my area have been adamant about trying to give me medication that will numb these mental processes, as they are meant to do, when all I wanted was some way to direct these emotions and obsessions and be able to channel them into areas of my life that will allow me to improve instead of spiral down. But it became apparent to me that there are many people in the field that want you to change radically, want you to become their perception of 'healthy' instead of teaching you to be healthy regardless of your struggles. My T told me that without drugs NO ONE would be able to help me, he insisted that after the medication and therapy I would be fine and dandy and when I told him the multitude of anecdotal and statistical data that shows how even after medication and therapy people still have to deal with the same issues as before meds and he said there are no tools other than meds and therapy I can give you. When I heard that from him, and the other 'professionals' I contacted, I began to understand that so many T's want to force change without accepting what the client wants to achieve. I don't want to become someone different or better, I know more or less who and what I am, I just want to be able to control the intense negativity I feel.

This may seem rambling, but whatever.