Sometimes I feel so litle life inside me that I wonder if I am already dead.
I wonder if my life is a dream or if it is real. because it doesn't seams real. I think I am just a corps with no soul. I can't think, and if I try to think or to feel it alls vanish imidiatly.
The world happens around me and I just stay in the same place. Things hapens around me, people talk to me, people talk to each other and anythings comes to my mind. My mind is stucked, it stoped and can't start to move so I have nothing to say. Today I went shopping, I look to the clothes and nothing comes to my mind, I can't realy like anything. I even can't chose my clothes by myself.
My life as been taken for me and I go with the motion. Nothing to say, nothing I want, nothing to fight for. The more empty I am the more calmer I feel, sometimes it makes me thing I'm fine, it makes me feel almost happy, with no worries. I try to cry, I call that thoughs that tell me I'm not ok, but they imediatly go away. This state makes me feel so stupid, makes think I'm not smart, maybe I'm not. My life is school and game playing ( games in wich I don't have to think)...I realy don't live, I guess I'm dreaming or I'm dead.