I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a marriage between a musician and a non-musician almost never works because they don't understand that you have to spend time on the computer writing music, or rehearsing, practicing etc. I guess the only thing you could do is ask what compromise you can make that will make her happy as she doesn't seem to be completely clear on what exactly she wants from you, but my guess is that she's jealous of the time you spend on music.