People can tell when you are not ok, but if you are putting so much effort into appearing to be ok, most people will be polite and go along with the image that you choose to try to project. There are some who don't want you to not be ok, so it is just that much easier for them to take your word for it that you are fine. But there are those who care about you and can tell and are worried sick about you.

I enjoy chatting and writing to you, and I think that you have a lot to offer the world, and life has a lot to offer you still too if you will accept it. You can't do it alone though. You didn't make yourself like this, and it is going to take some help to get better. We have talked about resources before. Have you looked into any of them? Does your school have counseling available to students? That might be a good option too.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Rap