hi Turtleboy
i 've never had chance to interact with you,but what all above posts told me,is that you are one of a kind..Depression hurts,loneliness-more,some meds work,some don't,you gain wt and then may loose it..(someone told me "there should be little "more" of good people' )..sorry you feel so low,I don't think there is much to add to whatever was said,but still -best wishes,warm hugs and.. there is a rainbow and sun after the rain,I am not good with wording,..just hang on and take care of yourself,
All the best