You are not happy. You are in a roller coaster of elation and pain.
Happiness is different, you know.
Happiness is a quiet feeling of caring for each other, doing the best you can for your partner and viceversa.

I'm afraid you husband is taking advantage of your depression and your problems to keep you in a dependent state.

He planted very well in your head HIS problems, HIS risks, HIS needs and requests.
And you are taking care of them, not going for help.

But who's taking care of YOUR needs?
What kind of couple is that if the 2 of you care only for one person in the couple and completely neglect the other?

This is not a fair deal, this is a trick.
You should get out of that house.
Please make contact with some supporting group on domestic violence.

If you still think that you can stand it, let me ask you something: what would a do if your daughter would come home and tell you exactly that her husband is treating her like your husband is treating you. Would you really say to her to stay there or to leave right away?

Take good care of yourself. You are the only one who can do it, cause your husband is not taking care of you.