I've been trying to quit for a long time now. I absolutely hate it. And now I have a dear friend who has lung cancer when she quit a long time ago. But even with a patch on I still cheat. I'm really trying but with anxiety and depression it feels impossible.

Today since it is the first of the month, I've decided to put a stronger patch on, just up one notch and try really hard not to cheat. I really wish there were someone I could talk to when I feel like smoking or about how hard it is. Even my shrink who is great doesn't seem to get it so I don't bring it up, but I am actually starting to feel concerned because I don't want to ruin my health and am afraid I already have. It's actually a dangerous addiction that is underestimated.