Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet
Losing my hair, having no job, i ordered something off ebay and it still hasn't come yet, i can't see myself having a future at all, and that's even with clear rational thinking. I really have no prospects of becoming a normal adult with normal relationships, work etc. I can't be bothered doing anything about it either.
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I understand how you are feeling......I was in a similar place at the age of 43....for 15 years I had an engineering career & then aerospace fell all apart where I was living & there were no positions anywhere & I was trapped in a really bad marriage while my career had actually been my escape from it.....no matter what I did or tried to do.....or gave up on doing because I didn't want to even bother......I saw absolutely NO positive picture in my future.....& I just wanted to stop living.
I managed to survive through it.......& then even worse things happened in my life then all of a sudden things happened that I could have never foreseen & life completely turned around.....I am so grateful that I lived through it.
The thing is that the way we look at things when we are feeling depressed is so negative....& it's a normal way depression looks at life but things just don't stay the way we are sure they are going to because we don't see any possible way for anything else to happen differently.....but there is always something that comes up differently in our life....life just like our emotions comes in waves.
The problem we have with depression is that we don't/can't believe that anything will be differently but it does whether we choose to believe it or not......so for that reason it's important to convince ourselves & to be around supportive people & do things we don't want to.....DBT calls is "opposite action urge" & sometimes we have to FORCE ourselves to keep going even though we know the easy out is to NOT. It's basically having the conversation/fight/debate within our mind & not allowing the depression to win.
I'm honestly not sure that I would have listened to anyone at that point in my life but no one offered the logic that DBT has even though I had always been the problem solver even with my parents.
What we also need to remember is that we can feel something but don't have to act on those feelings.....just like in the store when we see something we want to buy....we don't always have to buy it....self-control is a very valuable ability to have