That's about where I'm at in this too, fayerody, on the self-care aspect.

I post what I think is good generally. I think about what I'm saying, preview it and often self edit before allowing it to stand.

No longer can I constantly worry about whether it's going to be understood or not, or if admin is going to rap my hands over something (the flying PM?) or not. They do what they wish. They know how to get me to leave...and at times have pushed me almost to it. BUT in the interest of self care, I didn't offer to leave, but wait for their decisions.

If I worried about whether or not the post will be understood and appreciated by ALL here, I would be like most of the 13000 members and NOT post at all. I would be too afraid of the reprimands. And reprimands and such really trigger me, esp when it isn't just me thinking it isn't deserved. I have to just do what I can do, the best way I can, and if something happens that crosses the invisible line, there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

And moreso back to the original dispair, there needs to be some way to vent about admin issues that we can't discuss publickly. I have a very tough time with the "no reply" reply to a question in PM.