[QUOTE=Daisymay;3431796]I'd be really grateful if you guys can tell me what you think of this:

I had a break of several months from my long-term T. My choice - and I was fine. I only returned recently for a few top up sessions (phone sessions) because I was struggling a bit around the one year anniversary of when my Dad passed away. After a couple of sessions T seriously lost her patience with me. Thinks she needs to be harsher and use some distant tone with me or she is, in her words, 'enabling misery stories'. Well, I thought I was just grieving normally. She said some unbelievably unprofessional things.
I'm hurt, angry and upset. We tried to talk about this but she was so defensive and I felt she completely invalidated how I was feeling.

(She has done this in the past and another therapist told me her opinion was that this woman is not good. Her boundaries with me have always been all over the place. But my very strong attachment to her made it hard for me to see this until recently).

I then took some time and contacted her to say I was fine, had come through it all but I wanted to think about terminating the phone sessions as I now felt stronger on my own. She agreed a time for me to phone to discuss this so I went ahead and rang. She was very off-hand, almost dismissive. I thought I must have got the wrong number at first. She dismissed my idea that I felt I could now be my own therapist and move forward in my life without her sessions - if I can stay in touch now and then. She says I should stay with her because she's (apparently) a key person in my life.

Surely it's my call? If I feel stronger and have reached my therapy goals then she should let go so I can move on? I've been so pleased with all the strength I've found and positive changes in myself and the way I view life and deal with it - but she has crushed my confidence. She misunderstands what I try to say quite often and launches off into a verbal attack before I can explain further. I get confused and panicky and end up feeling almost psychologically tormented. I'm constantly saying sorry for things that are her responsibility and not my fault.

Why, apart from anything else, would I want to stay with a T who does that anyway? If I stay I'm afraid I might get another low spell one day and she would tear into me again. I think she is angry that I felt I didn't need her over the first part of this year and she is angry that I'd consider therapy finished now.

Am I missing something or has she lost it and I should definitely go? Should I find another T to discuss this with before I go any further - because I seriously feel emotionally abused by this finicky woman at the moment.

Thanks for reading.[/QUOT

I would definitely find a new T! One that respects you and helps you, if not I don't think counseling would benefit you! Best of luck!!