Perhaps my definition of a need and a want are different? I always thought that a need was something that you couldn't live without, like food and water. I'm not sure how that pertains to relationships though…. And then a want was something that would make life easier or better, but wasn't necessary.

Sorry, I'm having trouble seeing why reciprocal contact is a need and not a want.

I can see where compromise and respect could be considered as needs. And life is inherently unfair, so wouldn't fairness be more of a want?

This relationship isn't just about having a relationship…it's about having a relationship with someone that makes me feel safe (which is extremely rare) and doesn't make me feel self-conscious about what I say and do (which is also extremely rare). And we also have complimentary career goals…I really can't see all of these things happening simultaneously again. I haven't even tried really pursuing anyone for a couple years and it'll be a couple more years or more before I'd try again. It may seem like I have all the time in the world now, but in another 10 years or more, I'd be running out of time. I'm supposed to know and understand all of these things already because of my age and have all this experience both in relationships and sexually. It's already intimidating enough as it is, but the older I get, the more intimidating it becomes. So in another 10 years or more it's going to be way too intimidating…and it may be selfish, but I don't know if I can handle being someone's second or third wife (which would be my only choices at that age) because I don't want to be compared to them.

Where I'm from almost everyone are married/in long-term relationships by their mid to late 20's…there's not a lot of choices left as it is. So to find someone in their early 30's who isn't married and is actually mature for a guy? When would that happen again?