When I was 9 to 13 I was sexually abused by my brother in many different ways. I've told my family when I was 16, but never got any support... I'm 29 now and unfortunately still living with my mom as I don't have a full time job and can't support myself. (This is my next goal in therapy)

Sundays are always triggering to me because my brothers comes for the traditional sunday lunch with his family and to make matters worse I have to sit next him at the table. This is already far too invasive for me. So basically I drink every week to get through the meal.

But today he went one step further and I just dont know how to handle it: His 2-year old son was recently diagnosed as mildly autistic and as difficult as it is for me I try to treat him as respectfully as possible even though all his screaming,hitting things, ignoring me and so on is triggering to me. I keep telling myself he's only an innocent child. But today as I was lying down on the couch after lunch trying to collect myself my brother actually grabbed a plush toy and showed his son how to hit me with it on the head.
I think he meant it playfully, but that kid is already hitting far too much, showing him something like that is like worst parenting ever. And to me is was freaking triggering... I felt like he was abusing me again and like his son was going to be next one to hurt me.
I'm feeling so worthless... can't understand how anyone can teach a two year old to actually hit his aunt... and when I complained no one actually cared. Every one was like it's only a game. No to me it was NOT, I was being abused again and felt like a helpless little girl.

My T already advised me to try and avoid being at home on Sundays, but that's so difficult to do. The only place I have to go is my horses, but who wants to eat sunday lunches alone in a cold stable...