Surely you have at least one close friend or family member you can open up to about all this Life is very worth living- you have to enjoy the little things in life. Like a baby's laugh, the smell of flowers (as cliché as that sounds), a cute kitten or puppy (etc); good meals- nostalgic smells; etc. Because without life, there is nothing. And then you won't have anything. As painful as things in life can be- I believe it will make things that much more worthwhile when things start turning around for you. And they will. What goes up, must come down- and come back up again.