> One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
> apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
> beans.
>
>
> Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
> from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
> told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way,
> I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I
> could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any
> ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
> before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
> All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
>
>
> Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed
> delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
>
>
> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
> took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
> telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until
> he returned and went to answer the call.
>
>
> The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
> pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of
> the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and
> let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
> truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my
> napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
>
>
> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
> was worse than cooked cabbage.
>
>
> Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
> I went on like this for another few minutes.
>
> The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
> farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a
> few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my
> hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
>
>
> My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
> returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
> through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
>
>
> At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
> seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
>
>
> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!