Thanks everyone for your replies, I appreciate the thoughts and effort to write to me It's been a horrid weekend at work and I had a huge meltdown yesterday about it all. I have a lot to talk about to my therapist this week. I should have called to see if she had an extra opening on Friday but thought I'd be ok. Then the rest of my world blew up. Anyway, I hate the 'fake' game the most. I guess I can do that, it seems to be what they want. I'm just tired of the crap.