I can definitely relate to what you are thinking and feeling. I get so scared when I am doing 'well' that I am going to go back down, and have surgical thoughts quite often, not like I'm doing to do it right away, but that it'll probably happen someday. I'm glad that you were able to open up to your T about this. Try to remember that we all have our ups and downs, and that you just gotta try to fight the depression as best you can. Find something that you are passionate about and pursue it. It doesn't have to be anything big, but like, for me, I started a community page on FB to help people dealing with Mental Illness and to hopefully bring hope back into their lives. It has given me a purpose and motivation to get out of bed even when I feel like curling up in a ball and staying there forever.

~Angel