that reminds me of the movie called The Rite which is based off a book which is true. its about a man becoming a priest who performed exorcisms but still had doubts about god as he was going through the priest process. you should see it. if u havent. hollywood made it more into a slight horror movie but its mainly a drama. if u like books the book speaks more to thruth of what actually happened in real life. its called The Rite.