Quote:
Originally Posted by kreg
What can I do with my wife? She doesn't like it that I work on music so much and that I'm at the computer so much. I'm mostly retired but me and the guys are trying to get a band going. As for the computer there is so much good knowledge and fun to be had there. I don't have a paramore or am I a porn nut. It's often that I can't be comfortable at home around her. It's pretty bad right now. She has bi monthly episodes that last for a few days when she won't talk hardly at all. I can't do the things I want to do. She says I don't pay enough attention to her. That's probably true to a degree but I try to converse often enough to satisfy her. She wants me to go out for coffee everyday with my retired friends. 'No thank you'! But I do occasionally. It's like she doesnt want me doing the web surfing or music and would rather I mindlessly sit and talk with friends. She works very hard at the hospital kitchen many hours a week. Comes home and lies on the couch watching Everybody Loves Raymond in her free time. Yet I can't read on the computer or work on music. I'm very considerate of her with the noise. She likes to mix a couple scotch's with an Ambien fairly often. Outer Space! I'm too old and don't have the money to leave.
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By the way you state your question and problem, it seems to me you're missing it. Your focus here is purely on you and she seems to be an inconvenience and you're only doing what you do for her to appease her. From what I see here, your music and your needs are indeed set at a higher priority than hers.
I am sure this is going to come off as judgemental but the truth is I see you needing to have a shift in your thinking. Are you together with your wife because it's easier or because you want to be? Something to ponder. When a man (or woman) loves and cares very deeply for the other they tend to do things out of desire to not out of self preservation and "keeping the other at bay" kind of thing, which is what it sounds like you're doing here.
Try for awhile to think about how she perceives things, and try to see from her eyes. You've already all but admitted that you spend more time away from her (on the computer).
Even sitting with her to enjoy tv shows together would help or include her in your music creation if that's possible... Focus on her, my friend and she will GIVE YOU more time to do what you want anyway!