As of a few hours ago, I can really relate to you. Suffice to say I relapsed today, and will be seeing my therapist on thursday. I am not looking forward to telling her i did it a week after promising i would tell her i would. but, I think it would produce more information to help me in the future.

I also understand that you don't want to tell others you are hurting because then maybe you would be a burden on them. I tend to bottle up my struggles because I don't want to bring people down, or present them with issues that they aren't prepared to deal with. However, I think that talking about the emotions and not neccesarily the SI can be beneficial.

Sorry for not really having any tangible advice, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone