Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
There's a difference in being a happy single, but open to relationships and being happily single, period.
I'm not closed off at all to finding someone, I'm just merely waiting. This does not mean that I'm unfriendly or closed off to the opposite sex at all, flirt with me and surely if I notice, I would be flattered and interested but I don't have my feelers out for a new love nor am I "putting myself out there" like some people think they have to do.
Also happy, content singles, I don't think, give off "unavailable" automatically. Happy and content tends to be more attractive than "discouraged and wanting" singles.  |
I DON'T put myself out there…I just liked this guy and my friends encouraged me to go after him this time as I tend to just ignore my feelings and not pursue anyone at all. The problem with that is that if I never try at all, I literally stand no chance because I'm not pursued for whatever reason. I'm giving off some sort of "unavailable" vibe or at least with guys, I'm giving off a "too gay" vibe…which I didn't know that would stop guys from trying, but apparently it does.
I think it may be best just to learn how to become happily single, period.
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I can't advise, how to present your sexuality. I'd guess, feeling content and comfortable in your own skin, will just attract whomever is going to be attracted to you.
I,, respectfully disagree, about giving off, an unavailable vibe, happily single doesn't mean opposed to being in a relationship. It means, take it or leave it. Not settling for something that isn't going to be healthy nor conducive to my life.
Yes, those links talk about maintaining relationships. I've been in discussions that have said, if only those skills were known and used going into relationships, there would have been better chances for less resentment, through the years. Nothing like waking up, 5/10/15/20 years later, to realize there's kids and things just aren't what one desired.
I'm in the beginning stages of a relationship. Glad, to know these skills now.
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My fear is that either no one will be attracted enough to me to put forth any effort into starting a relationship even if I put a lot of effort into it (which I don't understand, unless it's my personality because I'm physically attractive). And even if someone IS attracted me, I'm afraid that I won't be attracted to them making me feel like I SHOULD like them because it's not like that's going to happen again. That and I know what it feels like to never have anyone I'm attracted to be attracted to me.