Hi,
I am looking for a like-minded friend that would be up for chatting via email occasionally. I have tried so many things to help with my depression but at the end of the day, the feeling of being alone in this is what is the hardest.
First I will give some details about myself and my situation. If you are someone that can relate I would love to chat.
-I am a 28 year old female
-I have dealt with depression since I was a young teenager
-I was medicated for a while but have become too sensitive to any sort of meds so just trying to find other ways to cope
-I have tried a million things including supplements, hypnosis, therapy, detoxes, and much more. Each time something fails I feel more and more hopeless. And the lack of motivation that comes with depression makes it hard to keep pushing to find something that works.
-I deal with anxiety as well. It seems to be the worst body contradiction ever!.... Feeling exhausted and completely unmotivated from the depression and buzzing from the inside out and totally stir crazy from the anxiety, along with a number of physical symptoms...many times I find it hard to even catch my breath
-I have an amazing fiance and looking from the outside a seemingly perfect life. All of this makes me even more frustrated with my depression and harder to explain to people. I have no reason to be depressed and have no way of explaining myself to my fiance or my family.
-I often feel completely alone in this. My family never really talked about their feelings and this disease is not really something you go around talking about. So it would be very nice to know what other people feel who are depressed. I know deep down that I am not the only one with these feelings of utter sadness that seem to take over me like a demon.
-I often wonder how I am ever to have a normal life. I don't know if I will ever be able to have children. I can't imagine what kind of awful post partum depression I would have. And I can't imagine trying to take care of a child during one of my dark episodes.
-This is my first "real" long term relationship. I know that my fiance loves me but I've never been around someone like this when I become depressed. Usually I shut myself out from the world, cry, stay in bed...whatever. But I can't do that now that I live with someone. I don't want him to see me like that, but it becomes very hard pretending to be happy when I'm not. And I don't want him to think it is his fault. Again how to do you explain to someone that you are sad for no reason at all!?
I'm not necessarily looking for someone to talk to every single day but would like to talk to someone that is consistent with their correspondence.
Looking forward to chatting!!