I think they are trying to get help by trying to understand why they do it. I can relate to a certain extent. On occasion, I have either made my friend mad, or got mad at her, and she would kind of freak out and get very emotional and want to work it out. I would tell her I needed time. I actually enjoyed the power I had over her by not talking to her and being the less emotional one. It is sick but there was a bit of satisfaction I got out of it. I think you need to balance what your feelings are and how you treat other people. It is something you could get in control without hurting other people anymore, but also you cannot just ignore the fact that you got pleasure out of it. Try finding some other way to get that pleasure, even if it is debate or arguing with someone you know is wrong... perhaps on the internet... cause some conflict, but try to make it beneficial or at least not too harmful. We need that outlet. It's something to embrace, because I think it helps us regulate our balance between being nice to people, and not letting people get to you. In your "best friend" case, I think you should ease up on them and try to delegate who you are conflicting with, and who is worth being nice to. Hope this helps.