I stopped for a long time, but just recently it happened again. I don't know why, but one night I was just desperate to find a blade, and I found one and broke a thousand promises... It seems weird, but I love how the scars look. I feel like I need them. I'm making up a thousand reasons to do it, but there aren't enough to stop. I tried counting days on my whiteboard, but that zero kept reappearing and it just got worse, so I started counting hours instead. Even that has been a failure. I never thought it would get this bad... The more I do it, the more I want to do it. I feel better when I do it, but I wish there was a better way to feel good. I feel so lost and alone...